Goals and Splurges

I have thought long and hard about what my goals were going to be.  I want to be ambitious, but I also don't want to set myself up for failure. Splurges are frightening to me because I am afraid that I won't stop eating once the splurge has ended.
I have decided to set a goal of .2 pounds per day.  At that rate I will reach my goal of 125 lb by 11/22/2010.  I will be thin and fit for the holidays, and that will feel great.
I have also decided to give myself one splurge meal per week.  This should not be confused with a binge.  The splurge will be accounted for, and other meals will be smaller on the designated day in order to make room for the extra calories.
I'm excited!

Day 12
144.4

Making Progress

Things are going really well.  I am surprised at my dedication this time around, but I am even more surprised at my feelings of disappointment.
As I continue on this journey, I am constantly thinking of where I was just a short time ago.  It is frustrating to me that I am losing the same weight over and over again.  In January I had finally fallen below 140, and I was feeling pretty good.  As I sit here at 146 pounds and dropping, I tell myself that I should not be celebrating these daily losses because it feels like I am celebrating my weight gains as well.  I realize that this is not a healthy attitude, and I am working on changing my stinkin' thinkin' one day at a time.
My diet has fully evolved.  I am eating 4-6 meals every day, and each of these meals contain some carbs and protein.  I also eat one cup of fruit, drink eight glasses of water, and eat three cups of veggies (when I can choke them down).

Day 9
145.4

Smart Choices

Yesterday ended pretty well.  I decided that man (or woman) cannot live on shakes and bars alone, so I added in a couple of new foods.  I am taking it slow because I can get a bit carried away if I allow myself to.
My day consisted of a protein shake for breakfast, protein bar for snack, cottage cheese and blueberries for lunch, chicken fajitas and steamed broccoli for dinner, and then another protein bar for a snack after dinner.  I'm eating a meal approximately every three hours.
Don't ask me why, but I was ravenous all day yesterday.  Perhaps upping the water consumption will help.
The scale was kind to me, again, this morning.  I was worried because I sauteed the chicken and red bell pepper in olive oil.  I normally use Pam for everything.  I also used seasoning salt on the chicken which tends to make me retain water.  I'm happy to see that adding the sodium and small amount of olive oil didn't send me over the edge.
Another change I have made is to eliminate diet soda.  We'll see how long I last drinking water only.
Yay!

Day 3
146.8

Change Please?

I realize that this is only day two of my re-start, but I would swear that I see some changes already.  Perhaps this is due to the fact that I didn't stuff myself with garbage yesterday.  Hmmm.
Before I started, yesterday, I noticed that I was actually sporting a gut.  Me.  A GUT!  My flat stomach has been the only part of my body that I have truly never hated.  I may have a big butt, flabby thighs and aging skin, but at least I had a flat stomach.  As a rule, I try to avoid all mirrors.  I saw myself this week, and saw that I was growing a pregnancy belly, and there's no way I'm pregnant.  I guess this is what propelled me into my current action phase.  Whatever works, right?
On top of all of this, I have started to become very self conscious whenever my husband compliments me or even wants to touch me.  I know he is sincere.  The problem is that I have grown to dislike my physical self so much that I can't understand how he could be attracted to me.  This is something that I need to work on right now as I know this is an unhealthy and destructive attitude.
I guess I should set some goals.  I will ponder this today and see where I want to be.  For today I am just happy to see a change on the scale and in the mirror.
On a side note, we went to the movies last night.  This is frightening because I have a popcorn addiction.  I took a bottle of water with me and a protein bar.  It was great!  I didn't even feel the slightest temptation to cheat.  Maybe I am finally ready for some change.

Day 2
Weight 147.2

Back on the Wagon

I am so frustrated with myself lately.  I have been feeling unmotivated, unattractive, uninspired and just plain FAT.
This past week I hit an all time high (non-pregnancy) weight.  Gasp!  In light of this completely understandable misfortune, I have decided to stop hanging out at the doughnut shop.  It's not just the doughnuts that are contributing to my weight.  It's eating out in general.  I leave the house with great intentions, but put me in front of the glowing menu board at any drive-thru and I lose all self control.  In addition to the eating out problem, I appear to have a lot of food addictions/trigger foods that send me over the edge.  I will seriously make up excuses to see a crummy movie just to get my hands on some buttery popcorn.  After ingesting this tantalizing treat, I will fall off the wagon for days as I crave everything sweet and fried.
I really don't want to be a fat mom or a fat wife, but I'll have to talk more about that tomorrow.  It's late, and I'm hungry.
So here's the deal.  Today I have limited myself to just the basics.  Protein shakes, protein bars and water are all I've eaten today.  I know that is not smart, but I ran out of grocery money because we spent it all on fast food.  How sad is that?  I guess my thinking is that if I can avoid all of my trigger foods for a few days that I will have more willpower.  We shall see.
My sister-in-law has a blog where she actually posts a daily photo.  I love this idea, and I may start doing it as well.  For now I will just say that I have my boxing gloves on.  I'm ready to battle this weight thing.

Day 1
Weight 149 (and some change)

Watch Your Mouth!

A couple of years ago I was talking to my fitness coach, David Greenwalt (who is a fitness genius), about my back injury and weight gain.  I explained to him that I couldn't lose weight because I couldn't exercise.  David told me, "Cynthia, I could get you down to 120 sitting on the couch."  I have to admit that I didn't believe it at the time.  I thought that the point of exercise was so that I could eat WHATEVER I wanted in mass quantities. 
I FINALLY GET IT!!!  I don't have hours upon hours to dedicate to my daily exercise plan.  I'm a busy person with lots to do.  And if I clean up my diet, then I don't have to spend so much time trying to outrun what I eat.  What a concept.
It all started to click after I read Tosca Reno's new book, The Eat Clean Diet.  Everything I am is created by what I put in my mouth.  My hair, nails, skin, teeth, nerves, cells, muscles, fat, etc.  How can I expect to be a fit and beautiful person when I fuel my body with garbage?  The other thing she talks about is how we don't have to exercise constantly when we live a "Clean Eating" lifestyle.  It doesn't take a LOT to maintain a body that is fed well.
I have started cutting a lot of chemicals, overly processed foods, white flour and sugar from my diet.  I feel much better already. 
Weight training is still critical if I don't want to have the same flabby body in smaller form, so last night I started a new Beach Body workout series.  I am supposedly going to have a great beach body by the 4th of July.  Right...  Without clean eating, that would not be possible.
I, for one, am going to be watching my mouth and keeping the anti-foods away from it!
Here's to new challenges and gained insight.
Cheers!

Be prepared...

Ah, the lessons I have learned.
My day started out a bit rough, but in the end, all was right in my world.

The lesson learned reinforced today was preparation.  How can a concept so simple be so difficult to grasp?  Is it just me?  And when you throw small children into the mix, watch out!  I can see how preparation will be a major key to my success.

The alarm went off at 6am, so naturally I rolled out of bed at 6:30.  As I showered and then dressed in my workout gear, I was feeling rather accomplished.  Alas, I was patting myself on the back far too soon.  My troubles began when I realized  that I would have to wear my old running shoes to the gym.  This particular pair of shoes has a big hole in the toe!  My "nice" shoes were on the back porch because I ran across the yard last weekend stepped in a big pile of dog crap.  Ugh!  Try as I might, I couldn't get it off with much success, so I just left them there on the back porch.  What was I thinking?  Was the "Poop Fairy" going to clean the shoes while I was sleeping?  Moving on...

I got the little people up and eating breakfast, and then I glanced up at the clock.  I quickly realized that my morning was unraveling before my eyes.  I should have already been on the road to take my daughter to school, so she was going to be late.  There were no clothes set out for the 2 and 3 year old, my bag was not packed for the gym, the sippy cups were nowhere to be found and I was quickly losing my cool.  How am I going to prevent this from becoming a daily ritual?  Easy.  It's called planning.

I have to admit that I thought about scrapping the entire plan for the day.  God knows that if I can't make it to the gym in the morning that I may as well eat garbage all day.  Right?  It's funny how excuses come so easily to me.  It's just another opportunity for me to play the martyr/victim.  No thank you.

This weekend I will be fine tuning my workout schedule.  Weight training is going to play a major role in my transformation, and I want to make sure that my time in the gym is spent wisely.

Next week is going to be great.